Those of you who have read my blog before know that I am a senior at Auburn. I have spent this last semester at home for my internship and have missed Auburn more than I can describe.
I am going back this weekend for A-day and could not be more excited. It’s the first time I’ve been back since last semester. I’ve almost gone several times, but the plans always fell through.
I’m excited to go to the game and hang out with friends, of course, but I am mostly excited to not be spending this weekend at home with my family. We are super close, don’t get me wrong, I love hanging out with them. But it is extremely hard to go from not having to tell my parents where I am or what I’m doing to constantly having to remind them to not lock the deadbolt because I’ll be home late or explain for the 10th time that day why I won’t be home for dinner.
I got so used to doing my own thing in college that it has been more difficult than I would have anticipated to live at home again. So I am excited for this mini-vacation.
At some point this week, while dreaming of this weekend, I realized what a weird phase of life I am in. Older than a teenager, but not quite an adult. This transition has probably been the toughest for me mentally.
I always felt like I was entering a new phase of life every time I switched schools. Going from elementary school to middle school was scary, but exciting. I loved elementary school, but you feel like such a grown up when you get to have a locker, so who wouldn’t be excited? Then I actually got to middle school and realized it was not all it was cracked up to be, which is why I couldn’t wait for high school.
Talk about freedom, I mean we could chew gum and wear flip-flops and actually talk in the hallways. I loved high school. I played sports and was in clubs and had a good group of friends, I wouldn’t necessarily go back, but I enjoyed it.
The transition from high school to college was a little more scary, but also way more exciting. I went to Auburn without my core group of friends, but with enough friends that I didn’t feel alone. Those first few weeks were hard, but once I got the hang of things I didn’t think I would ever want to leave…I was right.
This period in my life is different. I am excited to see where God leads me and life takes me, but I also am more scared than I have ever been. No longer do I have the safety net of friends and family. I know I have the support of friends and family, but I get to actually make my own life decisions.
That’s scary!! It’s not just “What do I want for dinner?” or “Should I go to class today?” It’s “What do I want to do for the rest of my life?” “Do I want to live in Alabama or move to another state?” “If my parents move do I move with them or live in a completely different state?”
It is overwhelming. I love the idea of making my own decisions, but I’m not as big a fan of actually having to make them.
When I am faced with a difficult life decision, which is pretty much daily, I think of 1 Corinthians 6:14. “So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God.”
Thinking about the decision that would best glorify God makes my decisions a lot easier because while I may not know what I want to do for the rest of my life or where I want to live, I do know that God has a purpose and a plan for my life. All I have to do is talk with Him “For the Lord gives wisdom; from His mouth comes knowledge and understanding.” (Proverbs 2:6)
I might not always know what the right thing to do is or want to do what God is calling me to do, but I know by listening to Him I will be on the path that he chose for me and that is all I need to know.
By Caitlin
