I have mentioned once before that I am close to graduating. May 10 — Happy Mother’s Day, Mom! I feel like most people would — excited and nervous. Those two emotions pretty much battle it out daily and it’s always a guessing game as to which one is going to win each day.

College has flown by. People told me it would go by fast, but I didn’t realize how fast. So here is some advice for those of you who aren’t in college yet:

• Have plenty of movie nights and eat lots of junk food with your friends because it’s way more fun than watching TV by yourself.
• Make as many friends as you can your freshman year because it just gets harder to meet people and that freshman year bond is something special.
• When given the choice to go to sleep in order to get your eight hours before your 8 a.m. or going on a surprise ice cream run with your roommates at midnight, choose ice cream every time!
• Go to every football game and stand up the whole time. Period. The student section is the best and you can only enjoy it for a short time.

This is not going to be a post about all the things I wish I would have done differently or what you should do when you get to college. Buzzfeed has plenty of lists of fun things to do in college if you’re interested. This is more for those of you who are in the same place I am … wondering what to do when you get out of college.

I don’t know if anyone has this issue, but I feel like every single one of my friends is engaged. For a while I got a phone call or text or Facebook notification daily informing me of a new engagement. It’s a weird feeling. I am so happy for my friends, but it makes me feel almost behind in some way. Don’t get me wrong, I am nowhere near ready to be engaged but it is still hard to hear of all the proposals.

I think part of me is sad when friends get engaged because in a selfish way, it affects me. I mean, once they’re married they could move away and even if they don’t they still have more responsibilities and less time for me. I know, I’m selfish. It is part of the reason I want to move after graduation. My friends are moving on with their lives and I don’t want to be stuck at home forever (don’t tell my mom).

Growing up is hard.

I’m almost done with school. Done. Forever. No more homework or tests or group projects with people who don’t care. No more waking up at 10 for my 10:15 class. I’m replacing it with responsibility and coworkers and paperwork. I’m also replacing it with more money and my own place and the freedom that comes with being a single adult. So there are pros and cons for both situations.

I remember in the first grade I was on the playground with my friends and a little boy in my class “proposed” to me. I was convinced that I loved him because we liked to read the same books (anyone else feeling those Magic Tree House books??) so I said yes and we had a wedding right there on the playground. He picked me flowers and our best friends stood beside us as we professed our love for each other; we agreed to skip the kissing part because …gross. That relationship lasted all of two hours, right up until P.E. when he didn’t pick me first to be on his kickball team.

We are still friends to this day and often laugh about our marriage and subsequent divorce. Now our friends are really getting married. People are getting grown-up jobs and having families and it is scary and sad and wonderful all at the same time.

Maybe you are in this weird in between phase right along with me. If so, know that you are not alone. When I graduate I won’t be married or engaged, I don’t know if I will have a job and I have no idea where I will be living, but it doesn’t matter because today’s winning emotion is excitement.

By Caitlin