Would I rather?

I love games. I could pretty much play them all the time. Card games, board games, strategy games, mind games — I love them all. While my cousins and I were all sitting around after Thanksgiving dinner we began to play a game that I don’t love called “Would You Rather.”

I don’t mind it most of the time. Listening to what other people would choose is always entertaining and listening to the reasons why they chose what they chose is even better. But I don’t always want to answer the questions myself.

Questions like, “Would you rather be the most beautiful person in every room you were in or the smartest?” I know the answer probably should be the smartest since it’s less shallow … that isn’t my answer.

“Would you rather change your last name to Hitler or never be able to eat chocolate again?” is another personal favorite. My favorite from this particular night was “Would you rather change genders every time you sneeze or not be able to tell the difference between a baby and a muffin?” There was some heated debate over that one.

Most of the time the questions are creative or funny or both. But every once in a while they get serious. Sometimes you get questions like, “Would you rather never have a career, only temporary jobs, or stay in
school for the rest of your life?”

068714-black-ink-grunge-stamp-textures-icon-alphanumeric-question-mark1-psThat was the question that made me think the most. Because I loved school. Not just college, I loved school in general. But I really loved college. I have thought more times than I can count in the past six months how much I wish I was still at Auburn. So my first instinct was to say I would rather go back to school forever. It didn’t seem like much of a sacrifice.

But then later that night I started thinking about it. I realized that I wasn’t sure that is what I actually wanted. These past few months have been a whirlwind. I joke with my roommate that I have no idea what we do all the time but we are constantly busy.

I started thinking about how much I loved college. How I loved most of my classes and I loved meeting new people. I loved staying up late with my roommates talking about whatever ridiculous thing we had done that day. I loved going to football games on the weekends and standing for hours with 87,450 of my closest friends. I loved it all and I wouldn’t trade a second of it.

But I LOVE my life now. Quite a lot has been thrown at me the past few months — heartbreak and stress; frustration and anger; two of the best friends that I have ever had; late night talks about all the crap that is happening in our lives; crying on each other when crying seems like the only thing to do; hugging each other when the crying finally stops.

It’s been insane. I have learned more about myself in the past six months than I had learned in a long time. I learned that having a few close friends who you can tell anything to is a lot better than being able to hang out with 87,450 people you don’t know. I learned that having fun in the real world is just as great as having fun in college. I learned that adulting is hard, but adulting with people who you love makes it a lot easier. I learned that letting people see my struggles and letting them help me is a lot better than facing those struggles on my own or pretending they don’t exist.

So I am officially changing my answer. I would rather live life with temporary jobs and the people who I have grown to love more than anything than get to spend the rest of my life at Auburn. Because I loved my life then, but I LOVE my life now.

By Caitlin

Editor’s Note: Caitlin is a contributor to this blog, but isn’t the only writer whose words you may see here. To read more posts by Caitlin or to see the other writers, visit the authors’ categories in the menu at the top right corner of the screen.


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