Almost finished

Have you ever been so consumed with all the bad things that could happen in a situation or what all could go wrong that you forget to actually enjoy yourself? That happens to be the story of my life.

I graduate this Sunday. It is supposed to be exciting and full of happy memories, and I’m sure it will be when Sunday finally gets here, but right now all I can think about is what could go wrong.

I graduate at 5 p.m. so there is a whole afternoon’s worth of potential bad things that could happen.

There are 18 people coming to see me graduate. A mixture of family and friends will be there, including all four of my grandparents.

I really am excited all of my grandparents are coming. I know not everyone gets the opportunity for their grandparents to see them graduate high school, much less high school and college. BUT my grandparents are old and don’t pay much attention to their surroundings. They’ve never been to Auburn and their first trip there will be with thousands of other people who may not know what they are doing or where they are going either.

So, needless to say, I am a little anxious. My dad’s parents are driving in from Florida and they can’t see very well so not only am I worried about the four hour drive, I am slightly worried they will run over/hit someone once they are in Auburn.

None of my grandparents are huge fans of being outside for extended periods of time nor do they enjoy crowds…we are going to be eating lunch in a park because it is one of the few places that could fit all of us.

There are about 100 other things that could potentially go wrong and I have thought of them all. I want to enjoy this day; I am excited to graduate and can’t wait to walk across that stage with my family and friends watching.

I don’t want to come across ungrateful to my family who drove a long way to watch me and I don’t want to stress my mom out even more than she already is from having to coordinate everything, but I’m nervous. Excited, but nervous.

I’m not sure how to let my anxiety go and fully enjoy the day. There are plenty of Bible verses about anxiety such as, “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God” (Phil. 4:6). But it is so much easier to read those verses than to actually live them.

I don’t really have a solution to the anxiety I’m feeling. I just keep telling myself that it will work out. I am looking forward to my family and friends being there and I am definitely looking forward to walking across that stage and celebrating the years of hard work, but none of that makes me any less nervous.

By Caitlin


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