On God and anxiety

Timothy, The Rope Contributor

For the next two months, I will be in a perpetual state of anxiety.

I graduate from my master of divinity program at Beeson Divinity School in May and I’ve known for a few years that my (hopeful) next step will be doing doctoral work. As of right now, I have submitted applications to 8 different doctoral programs and I’m waiting to hear back. According to the websites, it could be anytime between now and the end of March that I get any kind of response.

I’ve checked my phone at roughly three-and-a-half minute intervals every day this week checking for a phone call or email. It’s going to be a long two months.

Jackson, TN, USA--Damage at the local university . Jocelyn Augustino/FEMA

But why am I worried? Why do I get so freaked out about my future? My God is the same God who brought His people out of Egypt, who parted the Red Sea and stopped the Jordan River so that His people could cross over on dry land. Am I really so prideful as to think my problems are a bigger deal than anything God has handled so far?

I’m writing this on Thursday, Feb. 5. As of today, it’s been 7 years since my college was destroyed by a tornado. The storm primarily destroyed the residential buildings while causing only minor damage to academic buildings. The above picture is my dorm complex. The dorm with a SUV sticking out of it is my dorm. When the paramedics showed up on campus, they called the hospital and informed them that they would need at least 250 body bags. Not a single person died that night, and only 2 were seriously injured. Only one was unable to return to school that semester.

The God that we see in the Bible is a God who cares for His people. He knows what will happen next and He is never worried. It’s so important for us to remember that while we deal with anxiety and uncertainty.

So as I am sitting at my desk at work, stressing out about my future, God not only knows what will happen next but has also caused all things to work together for my good. Whether or not I get to pursue my dream of Ph.D. work, whatever happens next will ultimately be for my good.

God is bigger than my anxiety. He is bigger than admissions committees. He is bigger than my plans. And I’m so thankful for that.


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