When loved ones disappoint

What do we do when loved ones make disappointing choices? I think it helps to look at what Jesus did with the ones closest to Him.

Life is full of challenges. Some days I feel like I’m in that reality show where contestants are on an obstacle course bouncing on inflatables, swinging on ropes or climbing on a wall over water and trying not to fall in. Why is everything over water in these shows anyway? I guess it makes the course more exciting and a bit risky.

Exciting but risky can describe life sometimes. We are excited for the next adventure even though we are unable to see the outcome, but that’s also the risky part. We make the best choice with the information we have at the time and with the wisdom God has given us, but sometimes it doesn’t work out the way we hoped.

On the other hand, there are people, maybe in your life right now, who are not making the best choices, or at least it appears that way. We’re not able to understand why they’re making a particular choice because they most likely have information we do not, but still it doesn’t look like they’re on a good path and we’re concerned for them. Their choice could also negatively affect those around them, which makes watching it even more difficult.

This is the challenging part for me. My go-to reaction is to say “Hey, not the best decision here, let’s do better.” But it’s not my decision to make, and I’m not the one living in the situation. 

What do we do when loved ones make disappointing choices? I think it helps to look at what Jesus did with the ones closest to Him.

The obvious one is Judas. It’s difficult to think about Judas being in Jesus’ circle but he was because Jesus chose him to be. Of course, being God as well as human, Jesus knew the choice Judas would make but let him make it anyway. Jesus didn’t stop him; however He did impart wisdom and then let Judas decide his own fate. 

The same with Peter and probably all of the disciples at some point. While we’re not privy to every situation they found themselves in, we understand they were human and humans will sometimes choose wrong.

Sharing wisdom with our loved one will open the lines of communication and possibly give them a perspective they haven’t thought of. It also allows the freedom for them to make their own decision even though we may disagree. It lets them know you care for them without trying to control them.

Amy Hacker is a regular contributor to The Scroll. She also is advertising manager for The Alabama Baptist/TAB Media Group. She attends the Church of the Highlands and has three children.


Get The Scroll in your inbox!

Leave a Reply